Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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