Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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