their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
