Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
