i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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