i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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