the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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