The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
