Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
