Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
