He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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