Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
