i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
