he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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