I molested 6 butterflies tonight
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
