Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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