haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
