She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
