Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
