Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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