Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
