I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
