but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
