NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
