Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
