So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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