Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
