I cannot find my penis.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
