First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The air was thick with penises
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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