Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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