Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
