problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
