So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
