please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize