I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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