just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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