Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
