lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
