C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
