is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
