hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
