can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize