5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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