so explain again why im purple
no
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
