Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
