wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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