Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
