if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
