im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need a burrito and a hug.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
