I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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