Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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