you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
