she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
