No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
