Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
