she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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