He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
