wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
