bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
