After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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