I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
