I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize